[Helpers] Comedy of errors.

[Gustaf Grefberg]

Wow, that's a lot of fook!

Ya'd think that conversions between video formats is simple, but I've been
through similar chaos just trying to convert a single mpeg file into a
workable avi. It's resulted in a good dose of anger-management lol. Thanks
for the humorous rant, it was indeed entertaining, and I so know the
feeling. Especially with video conversion, it can be very fooked!

>    (Why does XP insist on writing a second copy of the data to a temp
> folder on C-drive instead of just writing directly to CD-R from another
> drive, like win98 used to? Whose dumb idea was that? Somebody smack 'em
> upside the head for me.)

I think you can set so that the CD burner program automatically removes the
data it wrote to the harddrive after it's done burning the DVD/CD-R. It does
it for two reasons, one is like you said that the computer may be too slow
so it caches the file to the harddrive first. It's very good especially if
you are making more than one copy!

>From my experience what it really comes down to is having the right
software. The problem with only being able to playi the DVD on your DVD
burner is most likely related to regions. You can set either US/Canada
region (#1 I think), Europe (Might be Europe/Asia) And you can also set it
to be region free, which can cause some players to get confused with it.
Easiest is to make sure it's burned with US/Canada region. I can
read/convert those DVDs without problems. That's the end format you'll want
from me anyway since most customers are in US/Canada?  Though I can probably
remaster them to Europe format too somewhat easily if you want to have two
versions depending on where you send them later. 

Hmm.. There's also the possibility to convert the DV tapes to another format
that has a similar rate of compression as the DVD, for example Xvid. Then
you can simply put the files on DVD data discs, but they will take up much
less space than a DV file, while still retaining almost all of the original
quality.  I can look into Xvid conversion for you if you are interested!

Namaste
Gustaf

>     Please be entertained by my comedy ranting.
> 
>    I'm having a day... no, it has been more like... sigh.
> 
>    Gustaf has graciously agreed to remaster my FSt vids. Yay!!
> 
>   I have the original DV tapes of the content but I don't want to risk
> shipping them to Europe... so I have to convert them to DVD disc to
> ship.  My friend Brian tells me my computer is not smart enough to edit DV
> tapes.
>    I call around and locate someone who will convert them for $200... but
> I
> am really going to need to be able to do it myself for the long term, as I
> plan to make a lot more videos. I decide to look for another solution.
> 
>    I wander into Office Depot one day last October, and tell the nice man
> what I want to do. He tells me my computer is smart enough for newer tech,
> and sells me a firewire card, a Mad dog DVD-CD writer and a whack of blank
> DVD-r discs. My current CD writer was taking 25-40 minutes to burn an FST
> CD so it seems a good idea to upgrade.  My druid's computer is way
> stupider
> than mine (Linux needs less stuff than "We are Microsoft -You Will be
> Assimilated")  and his computer can burn the same CD in 7 minutes.
> 
>    I get home, hubby does the installation. Yay druid!
>    I'm busy focused on other things, and Brian cannot lend me his digital
> video camera for a few weeks, then a few more weeks, so I postpone
> installing the software. December comes, Brian is done making rock videos
> for his band, lends me his camera and I go looking for the CD and manuals.
> 
>     It appears a trial housekeeper has thrown out the software, manuals,
> warranty cards etc. for the card and the writer, when she disposed of the
> boxes.  I usually keep the packaging around for a few months after buying
> new electronics, just in case it turns out to be fooked or not right so I
> must have been out of body when she asked...  That housekeeper also did
> not
> know that you are not supposed to wash black stuff and white stuff
> together
> and had freaked out crying and fled the house when she discovered my white
> satin bra is now grey zebra... I did not blame her because I am where the
> buck stops and I might have known better than to let her do my laundry
> unsupervised. My laundry is challenging, lots of silk and leather, antique
> fabrics and other delicate stuff. She is not the first housekeeper to
> create destruction in my wardrobe and I have learned to be philosophical
> about the losses.
> 
>    Finding a housekeeper who can handle cleaning a high vibration space
> without going strange is difficult, and can be hazardous to mind and
> property... fortunately my old housekeeper came back, yay! She had to quit
> because the school threw out her difficult child and she had to homeschool
> him. Then she moved to the other side of the street, from Surrey to Delta
> and the Delta school welcomed him, to her great relief and mine. Delta is
> way cooler than Surrey. People don't park dead cars on the lawn. Even the
> water is better.
> 
>    I call Office Depot, ask them what software was supposed to come with
> that writer... Nero 6. I contact the Nero people and they tell me that
> they
> need proof of purchase, to replace the software. I cannot find the
> receipt,
> either... I call the store and discover they don't keep records that far
> back. I'm fooked.
> 
>    druid saves the day, one of his fishing buddies has a copy he has
> uninstalled and doesn't use anymore and gives it to me, with the reg
> number. I install it glady, and capture one DV tape of FST vids to my hard
> drive.. takes 6 hours and a whopping 15gigs!!  Holy cow I am running out
> of
> space.
> 
>    (Why does XP insist on writing a second copy of the data to a temp
> folder on C-drive instead of just writing directly to CD-R from another
> drive, like win98 used to? Whose dumb idea was that? Somebody smack 'em
> upside the head for me.)
> 
>    It won't edit either so I capture again, slicing it into 4g bits as I
> go. Doesn't seem right.. an 80 minute DV tape should fit onto an 80 minute
> DV disc?? What up with that?
> 
>     I research conversion after I discover Nero 6 doesn't write DVD
> videos!!!! What the hell? I told the guy in the store what I wanted to do,
> and he sold me something that won't fricking do it? OY!! Too late now, no
> receipts or boxes or any hope of taking it back.
> 
>     Nero 7 does, and it is $80. USD at the website. Oh you sneaky
> boogerheads, giving the old version with the new hardware and forcing
> people to upgrade.  Nuts to you! I get a shiny new, still-sealed-in-the-
> box
> copy on ebay for $48.usd, and the seller is a local guy so I drive over to
> pick it up. I get it home and install it... and test it by burning a data
> DVD of my websites. Takes just over 2 hours. Hmm, seems kind of slow...
> 
>      I look in the Nero 7 manual and discover guess what, my computer is
> not smart enough... 800mh pentium three is ok for data and some things but
> not good enough to write DVD video, it wants a 1.3g chip. Brian was right,
> and I am fooked.
> 
>   My geeky druid tells me it will be fine, just slow. I test it again
> burning a bunch of music mpgs from my hard drive, making room for the FST
> stuff.  Slow is an understatement. Takes 9 hours and I have to move a
> bunch
> of stuff around on my c-drive and delete the captured FST tape to have
> room
> to do it! While it is working I cannot use the computer for anything else.
>    The resulting DVD will only play on the DVD burner, not on the DVD
> player on the TV, or the other CD/DVD reader on my computer. Uh-oh.
> 
>    Last night, I try the direct capture to DVD... not a chance. Did not
> think so, but I had to try!
> 
>    I wish for a simpler solution. druid tells me there is a standalone
> unit
> that just converts  DV tape to DVD disc, and I can probably get it for
> just
> over $100.
>    I go into Future Shop and ask 4 different salespeople about such a
> thing, they tell me it does not exist. One of them tells me it is a great
> idea, I should patent it and make a lot of money. I look at him in
> disbelief... because it is impossible such a simple thing, where you plug
> in the DV tape and the blank DVD-r and press a button and it converts and
> writes the DVD could not already exist.  The person who invented the
> standalone printer for digital cameras surely thought of it.
> 
>    druid goes online and finds several, @ $300.+
>    We decide that Future shop is fooked.
> 
>    I cannot affoard to have my computer in the shop for a week of lost
> work. My last several months effort at paying off my credit cards is going
> to get a setback. Tomorrow I have a professional geek from Geek Patrol
> coming over to look at my computer, discover whether it is slow because it
> is fooked, or just stupid, and tell me what it will take to make my
> computer get smart enough to turn DV tapes into DVD discs.
>     I expect a new chip and motherboard, at the least, and hope my 512mb
> of
> RAM will fit the new board... but I wouldn't lay any bets.
>    I contemplate last years purchase of 80g hard drive... and how I wanted
> a bigger one but my present motherboard was not smart enough...  I think I
> will spend today backing up C & E drives onto DVD data disks to be able to
> get a bigger drive for them... which means re-installing everything.
> Hmm...
> yikes. Maybe not!! Maybe replace D& F drive instead.
> 
>    I hope I get a good geek, one that is smarter than salespeople at
> Office
> Depot or Futureshop. Maybe he can even get the USB for my digital camera
> to
> work so I am not always asking druid to download my pix for me. The guys
> who had my computer for a week last year to install the new hard drive
> couldn't... and their bizarre installation of winxp asks to be activated
> every time I reboot.
> 
>    The good thing is that one of my favourite Tantra partners (codenamed
> "the Bull") is coming over tomorrow to fook my brains out... because after
> all this, I think I need to defrag my wetware!!  (brain)
> 
>           --------------------------------------------------------
> 
>     There is a delightful movie about sexuality and repression called
> "Sirens."  It is set in Australia, about an artist who lives with his wife
> and young models, and a preacher who comes to discourage his sinful ways.
> There is a scene in a bar with an crazy old man, all he ever says is "get
> fooked" in a normal voice, and he says it to everyone. Men, women,
> children... "get fooked. Yooou get fooked. You get fooked too." It was
> funny, and it stuck in our vocabulary.
> 
>       -----------------------------------------------------------
> 
>    Well, at least now I have a plan for my evening:
> 
>    1. start making a DVD of d-drive.
>    2. sex with druid.
>    3. Get dressed up.
>    4. inner with druid, Boathouse restaurant special:  steak and lobster
> thermidor yum!
>    5. Start making another DVD of D-drive... and another, etc.